A sore throat and a sneak peek

             

This is what I worked on this weekend. I don't mind telling you I'm less than thrilled with the progress thus far. Needless to say this was way more gorgeous in my mind. I saw the Luna moths as more luminescent. Plenty of work left to do, lots of chances to make it better. But I've had a sore throat all weekend and haven't been all that motivated. At all.

Carsen, in his astute and less than subtle way, said the bottom one was the worst.  O-kaayyy. I probably don't need to explain but it's only blocked out with a color I had leftover from another project. Chill out Car and have some faith in what (I hope) is yet to come. Hard to tell but the background is sort of purple-y. Also please ignore that greenish spot where I didn't clear the canvas as I reached over to reload my brush. This is fixable.

I did some final touch-ups on the octopus and am either satisfied with it or sick of it. Thought I'd include it's evolution as well, because I like to see other people's work in each of their stages so...

Hope to get back to some fun, non-goal-oriented, plain ole sketching soon. I also want to reread all of the Jane Austen novels, and organize the closet in the guest room (scary), and quilt all the quilt tops that are stacked on the shelf in my craft room closet but those may all be lofty goals.

Have an awesome week, friends. BE awesome.

The Queen-Of Getting-It-Done needs a break

More than a few things have been weighing me down lately. Even as we were celebrating Mother's Day I felt like a fraud. It seems that I was a better mom in the past, better at everything before I starting spending 38 hours a week in an office with enough artificial light to rival an operating theater. I clean on Saturday afternoons and by Sunday my house is dirty again (it's not just Carsen and Gus, I take full responsibility for my share of mess). I can't get past the first chapter of the book for book club in the month we were allotted to read it. I wake up with a start in the middle of the night, wondering if I mailed that payment or shoved it in my bag on my way out of the house. I'll weed the flowerbeds, go back a couple of weeks later and find four foot four-o-clocks growing jauntily in the bed where I thought I had finally cleared them out. Sometimes it feels like I'm spitting in the wind.

I had a conversation with a lovely friend today who mentioned reading an article that suggested writing down ten things you are grateful for and then going back later and reading it. I told her I used to do that. When I first read Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance, I adopted her habit of keeping a Gratitude Journal. Some days it was difficult to find the 5 things I was grateful for everyday, but in the end I always came up with more than 5. When the kids were crazy and ugly and money was tight, I was grateful for electricity and a warm house and for the knowledge that I would still love my children the next day, even if they didn't deserve it that very moment. 

So I try to remind myself of that feeling (and I WILL dig out my Gratitude Journal this evening) and find the things I am grateful for. Ten years ago I wouldn't have let my kids eat on the sofa in front of the television. Now I know that even though we are eating on the sofa, we are eating together and that is a good thing. Ten years ago I wanted more time with my parents, now I get to visit with them everyday, and my life is SO much better for it. I have less free time now, so I must learn the art of discernment. Working in an office teaches me patience and humility. And I mean, come on, we all know cleanliness is overrated. (If this is a false statement, whatever you do, please don't tell me.)

So why the octopus? I first drew that lady on a Friday evening after a really tough week. To me it means not only do I not have enough hands to get everything done that needs doing, I'm much too tired to even try. I must confess, I am not Super-woman. We were promised we could have it all, and maybe some can, but I'm finally ready to acknowledge that I can't. And that's ok. I guess. But hey, at least when I call my daughter her ring tone for me is the theme song from the 70's series Wonder Woman. When I'm near her I'll call her phone several times just to hear it. For a moment or two I can pretend I really am a Wonder Woman. That'll do for now.

A little sketching before bedtime...

Self Portrait

Hey, you know what happens when a 41 year-old woman spends her Friday night watching Looney Toons Golden Collection (disc 3 is my favorite) and playing with art supplies? This:

Well I guess he doesn't look THAT much like me. I can just relate to the strained eyes. Probably from all that reading. Acrylic and mixed media.

The Evolution of an Elephant

This is (I think) the finished version of my elephant painting. Truth be told I may tweak it several times in the next few months as nerves about showing it in public begin to sit in. 

Thought I would show the painting in stages just to demonstrate how terrifying the beginning and clumsy stages can be. 

Ewww! At this point I tell myself I should not be allowed to spend money on art supplies or even hold a brush.

Oh, his little eye is looking at me and he begs me not to give up. I think he may be a baby elephant but I'm not sure.

He is progressing along. This photo was taken at night and looks more blue than gray. That bring up the issue of light and demonstrates the difficulty of sometimes painting in natural light and sometimes at night in poor light. 

And viola! Done! Well I skipped a few days in between because I got tired of uploading pictures, so... We're done. I think. Now I need to learn how to photograph artwork. Anyone out there have any ideas on how to that? Please keep in mind that though I love the IDEA of being a photographer I don't actually  TAKE pictures or own anything other than a point and shoot camera that may or may not have batteries at any given time.

You think YOU'VE got eye-strain...

 I know he's bizarre, but I love these bug-eyed goldfish. Expect to see more. This is how I feel after staring at the computer all day then trying to draw at night.  I actually want to paint these little guys but I'm not sure they're most people's cup of tea. Orange ballpoint, black ink and colored pencil in my nearly completed (!!!) moleskine sketchbook.

I AM working on a painting that is based on this watercolor sketch though...

I find myself falling madly in love with elephants. Hope it lasts until the painting is finished. Watercolor in watercolor sketchbook

Canvas Anxiety

I'm trying to get some plans together, trying to gather the courage to put some paint on some canvases and submit them to a local organization that is holding a charity art show and sale in a few months. That decision made, now what to paint? 

I bought some supplies last night, feeling very brave and buoyant.  But when I woke this morning and saw the canvases leaning against the sofa I panicked a little bit. I just want to work in a smaller scale, but I know I will be pleased if I can just get over it and work on a bigger scale. I mean how many people want to stand around with a magnifying glass flipping through my sketchbook?

So, today has been about sketching and thinking, painting in miniature to prepare for the big deal. Still not sure what subject matter to focus on but I think the Aspen leaves may find a place in there.  I just love the orange against the black. LOVE. This piece is acrylic on 8x10 canvas board.  And it gives me peace.

This is a sight that does not really give me peace. Those are stacks of blank canvases and watercolor paper that I mean to fill and I hope to do so with some measure of beauty and whimsy. It makes me anxious. And that is not what art is all about for me. Art is about calm, not stress. I keep telling myself that a deadline is just what I need to get some work done. ! I put the exclamation point in my brain, just for the heck of it. But I have made a start, maybe its just the planning process, but seems somewhat more possible now than it did this morning. 

This is how my brain functions, when it DOES function. Despite appearances, this actually does organize me. The task: get the art out of those many sketchbooks and turn the reference photos into completely original works of art.

And now the reason I made a label called bad ideas. 

For the past few weeks, as I sketched and painted turtles, I thought of the turtle as a patient creature and a slow mover. This is good. This is where I need to be. I need to cultivate patience and I need to be careful about quick decisions and slingshot reactions. I kept thinking the same words over and over so I decided it would be a good idea to just write them right on the painting. With water-soluable (read smear-able) ink. After I doctored it up as much as I could with white paint this is what we have left. Not such a good idea after all. Well that is how we learn I guess.